Married girls are in 'home crisis'?

This may not be true in the case of every married girl. Just that I came across the topic some days back and few questions that I couldn’t answer and so I am writing about the same. This is not a feminist post. This is for all those married men who come across the same situation. And, last but not the least – this is not based on my/my wife’s  situation completely!

A gal who is born and brought up by her parents in a house which becomes her home eventually. She is sent to her husband’s house after the marriage to live with him & his family. In the new house, the girl & in-laws thinking doesn't match. Both of them are completely different from each other, when it comes to character, likes & dislikes. Now, if at all the guy gets an opportunity to work somewhere else other than his home town, he moves to that place and starts living with his wife. But the guy is keen to live with his family that comprises of both his parent’s & wife, and he never finds the new place as his first choice “home”.  Occasionally when the girl goes to her parent’s house– she is treated as a guest (since the day 1 after her marriage).  

In other words,

#1 house where she lived with her parent’s          -  The feel-like-home factor is not there anymore, as the parent’s themselves treat her like a guest!

#2 The house where her in-laws live                    -  Is new to her, which she would obviously take some time to adjust. The feel-like-home factor would only improve by time, as the understanding between her and her in-laws would improve over a period of time.

#3 where she and her husband live                      - Is where she actually finds herself to be at home, but her husband constantly says that it is his second home.

If your wife is having the above problems, then trust me – your wife is in having ‘home’ crisis.

So, few questions were put forward during the discussion.

·         Why is that girl always finds herself in home crisis? The only place where she finds her space is where she lives with her husband (#3 in the above case) but what if her husband doesn’t feel the same way?

·         Why is that the girl is treated like a guest in her parent’s house soon after her marriage?

If I keep myself in the guys situation, it is pretty difficult to answer these questions. First, we are never treated like a guest when we go back to our home town. Getting the ‘guest’ treatment at the in-laws place never hurts us simply because we are indeed guests there! And I would love to see myself living with my parent’s and my wife together. Perhaps that would be my first choice ‘home’.

Who is wrong then? The guy or the gal?

In this case I don’t think either of them are wrong. They are right when it comes to their situations.

For the girl, she is right when she expects her husband to feel the same, as far she doesn’t ignore or completely against the thought of living with her in-laws.
And she is also right when she expects not to be treated as a guest(which honestly what I feel as ridiculous) in her parent’s place.

On the other hand, for the guy – he is right when he thinks that the home is complete only when both his parent’s and wife are parts of it. But, if it is not possible for the time being and when the parent’s can mange without him – he should at-least not crib about it. Although his intensions are not wrong, this might not go very well with his wife.

What is the solution then?
Hope & Time!

First, you hope that the compatibility between your wife & your parent’s improve by time. Because, when it matters, you have to be with your parents.
If you have to live separately due to your work (which has benefits of its own) don’t crib about not finding it as a home or it is your second choice. (few things are worth keeping inside your minds ;) )  

Try to improve the feel-good factor or feel-like-home at the place where you are living, not only for your wife but also for yourself. (You see, peace of mind is mutual :) )