after yours, now it's my take on wedding... part 2

read part 1


The previous day, program started with prarthana (initial prayers..) followed by udida muhurtam where I have to grind the urad dal (black gram) using a hand mil made of stone. I believe this is to make the groom understand how difficult the family life would be! (You will be grinded like this after marriage, so this is just a promo of it.. someone commented!! :| Gulp!!). The worst part here was my attire. I had to wear a translucent white dhoti for the lower part, a piece of cloth to cover the upper part and one mundaas (turban). First of all, I don’t like being topless infront of so many people mainly coz I am not that built. It could easily give an expression for the onlookers to say I don’t have any nutritious food! Doesn’t mean that I don’t, but that is how I am! Plus, when I say I had to wear a transparent dhoti, you can imagine how difficult it will be if you don’t have white colored ****! (Remembered 2 States? :P It wasn’t that awkward in my case though) Anyway, I managed it somehow! After this, I had to carry some stuffs along with a long stick and an umbrella, posing as if I am going to Kashi for studying Vedas. I knew about these things so it wasn’t new for me. The funniest part was, we had no traditional umbrella. So I had to hold the one normally used by gals that too a colored one! Yeah! What a combo!! (Thank god, it wasn’t pink!!)  So, I started my unusual short journey to Kashi with my weird attire only to be stopped by my in-laws. (Thanks for saving me from further humiliation!) Again, I still don’t understand the actual myth behind this so called kashi-yatra. But then, it is some experience. Once in a life time experience!

Unlike other grooms (ah.. I haven’t seen anyone else though :) ), I slept nicely the previous night. With absolutely no make-up, no facial or any of those things, I got ready for the big day of my life. As I sat down on the chair after getting ready, I could feel the blood rush through my veins. Not that I was nervous, just that the moment we waited was right in front of my eyes. All my family members were happy and energetic, as this event was one of its kind that is going to happen after a long time. My cousins, their children and other relatives all were set and I could see that enthusiasm on their faces which made me feel a lot comfortable. My mom in particular, though was busy, dealing with her responsibilities, coordinating with them to see if they got what they wanted, was more happy than anyone else. My dad was busy on the call to see if the vehicle is reaching on time. They all had some or the other work and interestingly, I had nothing to do and was just sitting there watching them do it for me. My brother, trying out different cloths to look nice. Because in our wedding, grooms brother and brides sister will also be getting the same lime light. My sweet cousin, with that evergreen smile waiting for her little angel to settle down, was all set to see her cousin bro, follow her suit...  … I felt great and honored to have them in my life. Each and every one of them…

The marriage function was in Mangalore, about 60KM from our place. I kept on asking my brother if I am looking presentable (you see the groom has to be class apart! At least for that day.)  I don’t know whether I could meet the expectations. I mean, you have to act and be that way for the sake of so many people! The cab we hired could hold only 10 people but we were 12,  who were supposed to be there when we reach the hall for the first ritual of the day. So we had to adjust. I and the pandit somehow adjusted in one seat (coz we both were thin compared to the rest). I was a little furious as it wasn’t so comfortable but kept my cool. By the time we reached the place, I was feeling some pain in my back. The bride’s squad was ready for the edru-kansuche, I call it the great ‘face-off’. It is like two sides (bride’s and groom’s) face each other holding mirror, rose water, kumkum, flowers and other holy items and then they share one after the other. (I use to visualize it like two sides of army personal face each other, first, one of them comes forward and launch the missiles & granades i.e. sprinkle rose water, flowers and then another side return the favor! :P ) I was feeling a bit restless because of the journey. Somehow, I managed myself posing a smile as my in-laws escorted me inside the hall through those bright lights and flashes of cameraman, like a celebrity.

I saw her for the first time that day. She was looking different, gentle, nervous and gorgeous ;). After having breakfast, I changed my attire to Shervani with Peta (Wedding turban). I was asked to stand in different styles and give poses for the album. It was interesting. I have to appreciate the creativity of those photographers!  

Some defining moments on the D-day:

The bride enters the mantap – having worn almost 3-4 kgs of total items that includes heavy saree, flowers, garland, gold ornaments  - my better half came to the center stage gracefully accompanied by her uncle’s after taking a short walk through the audience. The site was beautiful as my heart was beating faster not because I was desperate, but the very moment which we had fantasized was right in front of us.

Offering the garland – now this is something that whole of my family members had warned me about. They warned me not to bow down during this time. But we had made a pact. It made some sense to bow down a little for me as I am taller than her, plus the turban on my head adds to it. I could see some roar from both the sides when I did bow down. (I also got some healthy shouting’s later on ;)). It wasn’t required for her to do the same as I could easily garland her. I kept my pact and so did she. It was nice as it meant, we accept each other truly. In other way, bowing down also meant we whole heatedly accept each other to be husband and wife

Kanyadana – This is one another interesting moment. In-laws bestow their loving daughter and her life to the groom. The gesture in particular was really nice as we perform the ritual which is surrounded by the holy chants from the priests… magical!

Tying the Knot – In the modern era, there is no sacred thread so that we can tie a knot. However, it is replaced by the gold chain now, which I have to make her wear. I could feel her breath as I put my arms around her neck. A transformation of Miss to Mrs. was complete now.

Lunch – Not because it has some special moments to be remembered or I am fond of lunch. Because - you won’t be having breakfast properly… you have to do all the stuffs pundit asks you to do…you have to get up from your seat ‘n’ number of times for so many different reason... And then, after everyone else (except your family and very closed ones) filled their tummy properly, pose with them for the album in ‘n’ number of photos. Paet main chuhe to kya, haati, bhaloo sab dodne lag gaye the! Finally, we get a chance to have some food!

After so many things which I barely remember now or may have got overwritten by those magical moments, we were declared to be husband and wife. Many relatives and friends came, posed for the photos, handshakes and smiles exchanged, blessings and good wishes were offered… A day that started so early, as we woke up being single was at its prime stage where we had just transformed into newly married couples. A day that was fantasized for so long was lived, enjoyed and experienced to the fullest…  

A feeling of satisfaction, happiness was filled in my parents’ faces as they prepared to welcome the new member into our family.

A feeling of satisfaction, happiness mixed with some sadness of letting their daughter go to her new house was filled in my in-laws faces…

And the newly wedded couple i.e. me & my wife, had only one feeling on our faces, the feeling that said – Mission Accomplished!!